


Too Thin to Notice

by TheDragon456123



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Body Image, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Eating Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Forced Starvation, Gamer Episode, Hurt/Comfort, Illogical Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Le Gamer, Modeling, Modeling angst, Sabine is mama bear, Sick Adrien Agreste, dieting, implied/referenced eating disorder, sad Adrien, what even
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6319204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDragon456123/pseuds/TheDragon456123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Adrien is visiting Marinette to practice for the gaming tournament, Marinette's slip of the tongue causes Adrien to reveal more about himself than he planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Victory Marinette and Adrien!  
Marinette pumped her fist in the air, and Adrien spun his chair around, hooting excitedly. He sat still for a moment catching his breath, and turned to Marinette.  
“Wow! We won thanks to you!” The blond laughed. Marinette smiled shyly, looking at the ground.  
“We played well.” Adrien shook his head, reclining back into his chair.  
“I practically didn’t do anything. You’re a champion, Marinette. You’d probably manage better alone. I’m not worth anything compared to you…” Marinette jumped, and looked at Adrian in shock. How could he of all people say something like that?!  
“Oh nononono, I… No! You’re super-hot!” Marinette cursed herself as soon as the words left her mouth. Why can’t I just say what I mean?  
Adrien made a small, pained noise and buried his head in his hands. “That’s just it though. The only reason I’m worth anything to anyone is because I have a nice face.” His voice hitched. “I’m so tired of it!”  
“No, Adrien that’s not true! You know that’s not true!” Marinette didn’t even know what to do; she had never thought that Adrien, who always seemed so confident, had this underneath.  
“But it is! It’s the only reason Chloe, the public, or even my father care about me.” Adrien didn’t even seem to be aware that he was crying, but the sight was heartbreaking. “I just want to be enough for him; just as I am. Is that too much to ask?”  
Now Marinette could see what he meant, because even when he was crying, she couldn’t help but notice that he was absolutely gorgeous. The red rimming around his eyes brought out the startling green better than any makeup or editing ever could. It had taken Marinette a while to admit to herself that, at first, the only reason she was crushing on Adrien was because he was a model, but soon she fell in love with how charming and funny and amazing he was.  
“Adrien…” Marinette was interrupted by the trap-door slamming open once again with her mom popping her head in with a heaping plate of cookies stretched out in front of her.  
“Hey kids! I just made some cookies, and…” The short woman suddenly seemed to notice Adrien, and she immediately rushed to his side, her mom-instincts kicking in.  
“Sweetheart, what’s the matter? Did you hurt yourself, or—“  
“I’m fine.” Adrien tilted his head up at them. His cheeks were streaked with tears, but he still managed that dazzling smile of his that looked almost rehearsed.  
“If you were fine, you wouldn’t be crying, Adrien. Now let’s get you comfy and have some cookies and you can tell me what’s wrong.”  
Marinette could see a whole range of emotions running over his face, from anger to sadness to jealousy to longing and then finally a small smile of gratitude. And then she realized why he felt this way and her heart broke for the second time in five minutes. Adrien’s mom was gone and his dad barely even looked at him, and Marinette’s mom was being so motherly it must bother him. He didn’t have anyone to talk to about his feelings, or to make him cookies, or to notice when he was upset. Adrien was alone and it hurt Marinette to think about him like this but it was true.  
At the same time Marinette was feeling sorry for him, she was also falling in love with him even more, because this situation was bringing out just how beautiful of a person he is. He could have settled on feeling angry for not having parents that love him, or jealousy that Marinette did, but he settled on gratitude. He pushed away all of the negative emotions and focused of the positive, even when, deep down, he was purely lonely.  
That was why Tiki chose me to be Ladybug, a small voice in the back of her mind chimed, We have that in common. That one trait, the ability to focus on the positive even when things are really rough, made people like Marinette and Adrien almost resistant to akumas. People who can stay focused on the bright side of things can’t be controlled by negative emotions. Adrien would make a good Chat Noir.  
That was when it all clicked into place, and she remembered a conversation she and Chat had had on a rooftop one night, only a week prior. He was so angry with himself for being controlled by Dark Cupid, and the fact that he had attacked Ladybug. He told her that she would do better without him for a partner, and that she was worth so much more than him. And looking at the way Adrien’s blond hair was blowing in the slight breeze coming in from the open window and the shocking green of his eyes as Marinette’s mom tucked a blanket around his shoulders, there was no mistaking it.  
Adrien is Chat Noir.  
Marinette pulled herself out of her thoughts and glanced over at Adrien. Now that she knew it was so obvious! But she couldn’t think about that now. Sabine had forced him onto the couch and had pulled him tightly against her. He looked confused for a moment before relaxing into her embrace, nuzzling his face into her shoulder, tears still leaking from his eyes. Marinette hated that he looked confused at something as simple as a hug. With some gentle coaxing from Marinette’s mom, Adrien explained in a small voice about how his father only paid attention to him when he made a mistake, and how it was nearly impossible to make him happy. He talked about the unbearable stress put on him every day and the sometimes dangerous diets he was forced into for fashion shows and photoshoots; how sometimes he had been so hungry and underweight he had been on the verge of collapsing and had to opt out of afterschool activities to just rest.  
“Are you on one of these diets now?” Sabine asked gently.  
“I…I started one yesterday. The big spring fashion show is soon and people can’t photo-shop those, so the seasonal shows are usually the worst.”  
“Adrien you need to eat. Here, have a cookie.”  
He stared at it longingly for a moment before sighing and shaking his head hopelessly. “I can’t. No sugar, carbs, or unnecessary fat.”  
“What do you even eat?” Marinette squeaked. “Everything has something unhealthy!”  
“Salads and green drinks for calories once a day and vitamin tablets for nutrients.” Adrien looked at his feet. “It’s pretty much the minimum I can eat without dying.”  
Sabine shook her head angrily. “That is the exact opposite of healthy! You are a growing boy; you need food to get strong. Right now, you’re starving yourself!” But Adrien wasn’t swayed. He just shook his head adamantly.  
“You don’t understand. I don’t need to be strong, I need to be skinny. It’s my job.” Adrien choked back a sob. “If I’m not skinny, I’m nothing. I’m useless to my father, and to the world.” The blond boy’s voice broke. ”He won’t love me.”  
“Adrien you’re already too thin as it is. You don’t need to lose any weight.” Adrien looked the opposite of convinced, and Marinette knew she had to say something.  
She came forward to kneel in front of him and, summoning all of Ladybug’s courage, took his hand, saying, “Adrien, you’re beautiful. And not just your face and body. You’re the most kind and intelligent and thoughtful person I have ever known and you don’t need to do anything to change yourself. If your father doesn’t love you it’s not because you’re not good enough but because he’s an idiot. And if no one else will love you then I-“  
A car horn beeped outside the window. “That’s my ride,” he said shakily. “Thank you both for everything. And Marinette, I’m sorry we couldn’t practice more. We might need to get together again before the competition.” He stood and stopped at a full length mirror, straightening his clothes and hair and wiping his eyes and giving the mirror a wide grin until he looked like nothing ever happened. The three made their way downstairs to the front door, where Sabine stopped him and pulled him into a hug.  
“You’re welcome here any time, Adrien.”  
“Thank you.”  
Marinette and her mother watched the boy climb into the limo, and both made vows to themselves; one to care for Adrien, and one to care for Chat Noir.


	2. Chapter 2

After seeing the state Adrien was in at school that Monday, Ladybug expected to spend that night’s patrol alone. She was shocked he even went to school at all. When he had come in he was really pale, his hands shook lightly, and his cloths hung off his frame, making it impossible to really tell how thin he was. But now that she saw him as Chat it was easy. It seemed as though no matter how skinny Adrien got, his cat suit always seemed to shrink with him. Now she could count each individual rib just by looking at him, and his hips and collar bones jutted out in a way that was thoroughly disturbing. Marinette’s acting skills weren’t that great, but she needed to act surprised so he didn’t suspect she knew who he was.   
“Oh my god!” she breathed as Chat sat down next to her on the roof, his legs dangling off. “You look awful!”  
“You’re just jealous that I lost weight.” His words were confident in the way that was so typical of Chat Noir, but his body didn’t reflect them. His posture was slumped and his smile didn’t reach his tired eyes. She could see his whole body shaking, even if he was trying to suppress it, and his face was ghostly pale.  
“Chat, what…why…are you okay?” Ladybug knew that they couldn’t reveal themselves to each other, and she was being as cautious as possible, but this was getting dangerous. Adrien needed serious help, and their secret identities weren’t important compared to their lives.   
“I’m fine, milady. Please don’t worry about me too much.”   
“Well, okay then...Shall we get going?” Ladybug knew this was a bad idea, but she needed to get him to admit that he needed help, otherwise he wouldn’t accept it. She stood quickly and extended her hand out to Chat, who was still sitting on the roof. He took it and pulled himself up quickly. She could see that he regretted that move as soon as he made it. His face went even paler, and he crumpled, collapsing into Ladybug’s waiting arms like a rag doll.  
She said a word that Marinette would not approve of, and lowered him to the cement floor, holding his head gently in her lap. Now that he had less control he was openly shaking and breathing seemed to be getting harder and harder. She reached down and brushed his hair off of his forehead, pulling it away in shock when his skin burned under her touch. She had to get him home. Well, knowing Adrien’s dad, maybe not his home.  
She reached down for his miraculous, shuddering at how wrong it felt to be doing this as she touched the black ring. He whimpered, his hand jerking away involuntarily and Ladybug retracted her fingers, stroking the back of his hand comfortingly with her thumb. “It’s okay, Chat. I won’t look. I know someone who can take care of you. You’re okay.” She gently slid the ring off his finger and there was a flash of green light as his transformation faded away. She saw a small black creature who must have been his kwami float over and put a tiny paw on his pale cheek.   
“I should have helped him. I should have tried harder.”   
Marinette lifted the boy with little difficulty, praying to whoever was listening that it was Ladybug’s strength helping her and not Adrien’s extreme weightlessness.  
0o0  
Sabine was just bagging up a pastry for the last customers, a charming young American couple on their honeymoon, when Marinette burst through the doors carrying a barely conscious Adrien in her arms. She wanted to say she had been surprised, but ever since she had seen him walking by yesterday and noticed how awful he looked, she could tell he would drop any minute. Now he looked even worse. He was pale and shivering hard, and it didn’t seem to take any effort on Marinette’s part to hold him, other than the height difference. And she looked so scared for him it broke Sabine’s heart. As soon as Marinette came through the door the customers stepped back to give the three some room.  
“I was walking in the park and Adrien was there alone so I invited him to walk with me and it was dark so I didn’t know he was so bad and when he stood up he suddenly got really pale and he passed out and I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t think anyone would be there to take care of him at his house so I brought him here and-“   
Sabine stopped her by placing both of her hands on her shoulders and saying in her gentlest voice, “Marinette. Calm down honey. Take him upstairs and have him lay down. I’ll be up there to help as soon as I’m done with these customers.” Said customers, a short tan guy with curly black hair and a tall, pale boy with chestnut hair, came forward, the latter looking somewhat disturbed.  
The taller man spoke in perfect French with barely an accent. “Was that Adrien Agreste?! I…his father’s fashion is my inspiration!” Then his voice got quieter. “Is he alright?” While he was gushing his husband was hurriedly paying for their croissants. The baker scoffed at his words.  
“Yeah, starving your only son is very inspirational.” She muttered. His eyes widened dramatically.   
“He what!?!” he squeaked as his husband practically dragged him from the bakery.  
As soon as the door was closed Sabine rushed to her daughter’s side and slung one of the unconscious boy’s arms over her shoulder, helping to bear him up the steep stairs to the living room. She and Marinette laid him gently on the couch, covering him with blankets.  
“Stay here with him; I’m going to go make him some soup.” Marinette nodded dutifully, sitting in the chair next to Adrien. Sabine pretended not to notice as her daughter took her classmate’s hand.   
The Chinese woman opened the fridge and pulled out the homemade chicken soup from the previous night’s dinner, setting it in the microwave to reheat. She gave herself the thirty seconds to mentally scream at Adrien’s father before the timer went off and she pulled the soup from the microwave. When she came back into the living room, Adrien was slowly regaining consciousness, with Marinette rubbing circles in the back of his hand with her thumb and speaking to him softly.  
“Adrien, honey,” Sabine crooned, helping the trembling boy sit up, “Here, I made you some soup.” The baker handed the bowl to her daughter to spoon into Adrien’s mouth, and moved behind him to prop some pillows behind his back. He was looking around blearily, his face pale and his eyes dull and drifting.   
“Wh…wha..?” Adrien’s chin was quivering and his breathing started coming faster; Sabine could see his chest rising and falling imperceptibly, but rapidly. They couldn’t have that.  
“Shh, hey, it’s alright. You’re in my house now. Breathe, Adrien. Come on. Do you remember passing out?”   
He shook his head weakly. His eyes were wide and vacant, scanning her face.   
“Okay, Sweetheart. How about you try to eat as much soup as you can and then you can rest.” Adrien nodded, seemingly done with protesting. At Sabine’s cue Marinette gently held the spoon to the model’s lips, and he hesitantly sipped the hot broth from it. They struggled through half of the bowl before Adrien held up a shaky hand at the offer of another spoonful.  
“I…I can’t…”   
“It’s okay,” Sabine said, pushing the child’s hair from his face soothingly. “I can imagine it would be hard to suddenly eat so much.” Feebly, Adrien nodded, and then snuggled down into the blankets, his eyelids drifting shut. He was still shivering, and he obviously had a fever, but his face had regained some color. That was good. The woman’s eyes went to Marinette, who had been silent throughout the entire ordeal. She beckoned her daughter to the kitchen. She squeezed the sleeping boy’s hand and reluctantly followed her mother.  
As soon as they made it into the kitchen Sabine pulled Marinette into her arms and the girl buried her head in her mother’s shoulder. “It’s not fair,” she muttered.  
“Bad things happen to the best people.” Sabine hugged her tightly before pulling away to rest her hands on Marinette’s shoulders. The girl had tears in her eyes. It blew her mind how much Marinette cared about Adrien. This wasn’t just a schoolgirl crush; Sabine could see it in the way she stumbled over her words and blushed when she saw him or talked about him and in the worry and fear on her face when he was in trouble. This was love. Sabine was glad it wasn’t any other boy. She already loved Adrien like a mother would. His sweet smile and kind eyes and intelligence had ensnared her almost as quickly as he did Marinette. Just being around him through her protective mama bear instincts into overdrive. If it was legally possible, she would have exposed Gabriel’s true nature by now and taken Adrien in, but she didn’t have any evidence of neglect so there wasn’t much she could do.   
“But why him, mama?” Marinette’s cheeks were wet, her eyes glistening. Sabine smiled sadly.  
“Probably because he’s one of those ‘best people.’”   
The two women rushed around getting things ready for their guest. They changed the sheets on the barely used guest bed, and picked up around the dusty room. Neither of them was sure how long Adrien would be staying, but they were definitely not letting him go back to his father’s house that night.  
With that, they woke up Tom from his nap.   
In hushed voices they explained to him the situation and he automatically agreed that Adrien would stay, at least for the night.   
Sabine handed Marinette a thermometer and a glass of water to go check on Adrien while she and Tom had a “talk”.  
oooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Marinette’s POV  
Marinette pulled up a chair from the kitchen table and sat next to Adrien, once again taking his hand in hers. The fingers were long and bony, almost skeletal, but they were always like that. Really his hands seemed to be the only thing not altered by this whole ordeal. She set the glass of water on the coffee table and ever so gently opened Adrien’s mouth, slipping the thermometer under his tongue. He rolled over slightly, mumbling under his breath, “No Plagg. I’m not hungry. Just stop.” Marinette smiled. His kwami, who hadn’t showed himself since they had gotten there, must have tried to feed him while he slept. The tiny creature crawled out from his pocket and crawled up to curl up in the corner where Adrien’s neck met his shoulder, staring up at her with bright emerald eyes.   
Tiki squeaked and flew into him, crying, “Plagg!!! It’s so great to see you!”   
Plagg smiled widely, hugging her tightly. “It’s been too long, milady.”  
Marinette would have watched to two ancient beings adorably catch up had it not been for the thermometer in Adrien’s mouth beeping loudly. She took it and read the numbers, suppressing a gasp. 101.2. She fished out an ice cube from the cup and tucked it under Adrien’s tongue, tilting his head forward to keep him from choking. The blond teen moaned softly and shifted.  
“Adrien?” Marinette asked, gripping her friend’s hand tighter.  
“Ladybug?” he mumbled, his eyes still closed. Marinette hesitated. Telling Adrien and her parents two different stories would be risky. But it was likely that no one would mention how he got there anyhow.  
“No… It’s me. Uhh… Marinette… Ladybug brought you here. You were unconscious when she dropped you off, so I brought you inside to sleep on the couch. You have a pretty bad fever. Mom will get you some medicine as soon as she’s done talking to Dad, and then we’ll move you to a real bed, okay?” Adrien nodded weakly, and the two sat in companionable silence, Adrien either not noticing or choosing not to mention the fact that their hands were still clasped together.   
Then there was a low purr from Adrien’s shoulder and Marinette paled. Adrien didn’t know she knew that he was Chat Noir, or that she was Ladybug. What would he say to seeing both kwamis sitting together out in the open like that? There would be only one conclusion. But maybe if she could convince him he was hallucinating… Too late. He was already staring wide-eyed at the two kwamis. Tiki squeaked in alarm and hid in Marinette’s jacket. She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn’t seem to look up from the ground. “Marinette?” She winced. He said her name with so much shock and disbelief. Of course the klutzy girl with the stutter couldn’t be his cool confident Ladybug. Of course he was shocked. “Y-You’re Ladybug?”   
She felt herself nod even though her mind was still racing. She had lied to him and he was going to hate her.   
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.  
Apparently Plagg was a knife.  
“Smoooooooooooth.” He said to the lump in Marinette’s jacket. Marinette and Adrien stared at him with wide eyes, and then burst out laughing.   
“That time you had this random photo shoot that you were late for even though your chauffeur wasn’t there to pick you up!”  
“And-and that time you were about to throw up even though you felt fine a second before!”   
And then it clicked. “YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS!!!” They doubled over laughing again, even though Adrien’s laughter was strained and he broke into a coughing fit almost immediately. Marinette wrapped her arm around his shoulders, waiting until the coughing had subsided to hand him the glass of water.   
Then her mom and dad came into the room, sitting in armchairs across from the couch. When Tiki zoomed back into Marinette’s pocket, Plagg followed suit. Marinette and Adrien had to stifle their giggles.   
“Adrien,” Papa stepped forward, kneeling next to where Adrien was propped up. “I don’t think we’ve met before; I’m Tom, Marinette’s father.” Marinette could hear the if you hurt my daughter I will slay you tone that her dad was carefully concealing, but fortunately Adrien seemed oblivious.  
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Dupain-Cheng.” There was that mask again. Polite, charming, but cold. Papa’s eyes softened.  
“Tom,” He insisted. Adrien looked down, but nodded.   
“Adrien,” Mama interrupted when the silence grew awkward, “Tom and I have agreed that it would be best if you stay the night.”   
His head snapped up. “No! You don’t need to do that. I can go back to my father’s place. You don’t need to do anything for me.”   
“Adrien, just because we don’t need to help you doesn’t mean we aren’t going to. You’re in no condition to go home, and from what I’ve heard you won’t be very well taken care of there. We want to help you. Okay?”  
He nodded, his eyes averted to the floor. Mama smiled. “Marinette, what was his temperature?”   
Marinette grimaced. “101.2.”   
Her mother’s eyes widened. “Adrien! You should be laying down. Here, I’ll get you some medicine for your fever.”   
Adrien didn’t protest. He had completely given in to their hospitality. Good. That would make it a lot easier to take care of him. Mama returned with a pill which he swallowed easily. Marinette and Papa supported him into Marinette’s bedroom, where they had agreed he would sleep until he had gotten better, or at least well enough for them to not worry about him. They laid him on the bed, covering him up with a thick quilt that Marinette’s grandmother had made. She set his glass of water on the bed side table. “Try to drink a lot,” she advised, “It will help you get better.”  
Adrien nodded, snuggling deeper into his blanket cave, curling into a tiny ball on his side, and immediately falling asleep. Mama pushed Adrien’s hair from his eyes and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I’m going to go put on pajamas,” she said before slipping away.   
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
It was close to midnight when Marinette woke up with two tiny sets of hands poking at her cheek. She rolled over and opened her eyes to see two more sets staring at her with alarm. “Whadayawan?” Then it all came back to her and she sat up quickly.   
She practically leaped off her loft to run to Adrien’s side. If the kwamis woke her up then it must be bad. He was still asleep, but he was twisting and turning, his face bright red with liquid beading down it. The sheets were soaked in sweat, wound around his legs and he was trembling, thrashing around like he was trying to escape from them. His breath came in high wheezes. Marinette grabbed the thermometer and slipped it into his mouth, using her left hand to hold his head in place. He moaned softly. “Mari…”  
“Hold on, Adrien,” she said, “You’re okay. Just hold on.” The thermometer beeped and she took it out quickly. 104.1. She gasped. Next time she saw Gabriel she was going to kill him. “Okay Adrien, I’m going to go get my mom. I’ll be right back.”   
When Marinette quietly opened the door to her parent’s bedroom, her mother immediately sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  
“How’s Adrien?” She asked, putting on her mom face. Marinette smiled. She really cared about her daughter’s friends.  
“His fever’s way worse. 104. I don’t know what to do…”  
Mama quickly took control. “Go get a washcloth and soak it in room-temperature water and grab some medicine. The bottle should still be sitting on the table.” It didn’t take long to get the stuff for Adrien, and soon she was back by his side, dabbing his forehead with the cloth. Mama left once she decided there was nothing else she could do to help him and Marinette all but insisted that she go back to bed.  
Adrien was more awake now, propped up against the pillows with like twenty blankets wrapped around him. He and Marinette stared at each other for a moment.  
“Mari,” He said softly. “I was wondering, well…”  
“Yeah?” She prompted him.  
“It’s just that I didn’t realize until the other day when your mom hugged me, that, well, I haven’t slept with anyone since my mother died.” Marinette felt her face grow so hot she thought that her fever might be worse than Adrien’s.  
“W-w-what?!”  
“Nononononono, not like that,” he quickly amended, “I just…haven’t, you know, cuddled with someone, and…” Adrien drifted off and his cheeks went redder than Marinette’s. The girl softened. Wordlessly she climbed into the bed next to her best friend and pulled his head onto her chest, running her fingers through his soft hair. He stiffened, seeming to not know what to do with himself. That was alright. Marinette maneuvered his cocooned body so that no jagged bones were pressing into uncomfortable places.  
“I’m gonna turn on a movie,” she murmured softly, and he nodded in agreement, snaking a hand out to curl into her silk pajama shirt. A few buttons on the remote and her favorite comfort film was in front of her.  
“The Princess Bride? That sounds lame” Adrien mumbled, and she swatted him in the head.  
“Just watch. You’ll like it, I promise.”  
As Wesley and Buttercup escaped from the Fire swamp, the medicine seemed to take hold of Adrien fully. His eyes were half closed and his head was resting completely on her shoulder. Still, he was making an effort not to miss even a second of the movie. He had been captivated since Buttercup was kidnapped. “Do you want me to pause it so we can finish tomorrow?” she whispered.   
She felt him nod and she turned off the TV. The only light in the room came from the window as the entire city of Paris made an effort to replace the absent sun with its midnight brilliance, every building competing to be brighter than the next so the city formed a intricate spider’s web of gold and silver until it all filtered in through Marinette’s curtains to land on the faces of its saviors. Marinette carefully helped Adrien settle with his head resting in her lap, her nimble seamstress’s fingers weaving slowly through his golden hair. Now that they were alone and both slightly loopy from exhaustion, Marinette could finally say the words she had been trying to say for a long time. “Never think you’re not useful,” she whispered. She felt him shift in her lap. “That goes for you and Chat Noir. I couldn’t do anything without you. You deserve the sun and the moon and the stars and everything in between and I will never let you forget that. You are worth so much, Adrien.”  
If anyone asked her later, she would have denied it, or blamed on lack of sleep, but the words that were spoken as the clock ticked past midnight were as real as the shining sun or the crystal moon.  
“I love you.”   
Dawn was finally coming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been forever since I have written anything, and during that time I feel that my writing has improved a lot. I am proud of my work and much more focused. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy this.

Adrien woke while it was still dark, the city lights brushing through Marinette’s curtains and resting across his face. She must have changed his position after he fell asleep, because he had gone from laying with his head on her lap to being curled up facing her, her arms wrapped tightly around him. Not wanting to wake Marinette, Adrien turned his head slowly to check the time. 5:30. This was the time Natalie usually woke him up, even on weekends. She wanted him to wake up later (she said it would be better for his health), but Adrien liked waking up while it was still dark. He liked to climb up onto the roof of the mansion as Paris was coming to life, enjoying the smell of fresh pastries that seemed to always drift his direction on the wind; the forbidden fruit that he would never taste.  
Now, lying next to Marinette on her bed, that same smell was twice as strong. He realized that the smell he looked forward to every morning was coming from her house. He smiled, sitting up without disturbing his lady. “Plagg,” he whispered. His kwami drifted to his shoulder, placing a tiny, cold paw on his cheek.  
“Are you feeling okay, Adrien?” he asked, his voice full of concern.  
“I feel a lot better,” Adrien assured him. “I just need some air. Some time to think. Transform me?”  
“Sure.”  
He reveled in the rush of power and freedom that came with the transformation, like breathing in frigid air after standing in the hot sun for hours. He felt alive and refreshed, totally empowered. He could do whatever he wanted. He silently opened the trap door and slipped out onto the roof, cold wind biting his exposed cheeks and eyes. Chat Noir climbed up onto the domed roof of the bakery.  
Paris slept peacefully for once. At this hour the city was just waking up, and still half asleep adults wore their whole upcoming day on their faces. The brunette woman at a stop light was a single mom. The almost bald man on the corner had an important meeting later in the day. The black haired woman at the coffee shop was expecting a promotion. Watching them, Chat Noir could almost pretend to be them, to live another life besides his own incredibly screwed up one. He laid down on his back, staring through half closed emerald eyes at the sky, trying to imagine all of the stars that had been visible thousands of years ago, wondering what this city would look like if the stars were still there. He pictured all of the city lights, still on and blinking, suddenly becoming detached like dew drops being shaken off a blade of grass and flying into the night sky to replace thousands of constellations. An apology. A sacrifice. His eyes closed.  
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
When he woke up the next time, his first thought was, Shit. The sky is bleeding. He hadn’t actually gotten to enjoy a Parisian sunrise since he was little and his father didn’t expect nearly as much from him. The horizon was so red, it looked like it was on fire. He smiled contentedly. It was a Saturday, so he didn’t have to worry about missing school, and at this point, he felt like he had defied his father so much that he was off the hook. He could stay sitting on that roof all day if he wanted, and no one would know it was him.  
“What are you thinking about?”  
Chat Noir jumped a foot into the air, nearly tumbling down off the roof. Ladybug laughed, her smile lighting up the whole city. It was weird, seeing her and knowing who she is. She looked the same, yet completely different at the same time. Still, he couldn’t call her Marinette, not even in his own head. It just felt wrong. He had often considered Adrien and Chat Noir as two different people and thought of them as such, and he saw Ladybug the same way. They were just so different.  
“M-My lady! I didn’t see you there,” he yawned. He didn’t understand how he was so tired, since he thought he had slept enough last night to avoid that issue, but still his entire body ached with exhaustion. “I was just taking a little cat nap.”  
“Good. You need your sleep. Mama’s done with breakfast. You need to come down and eat something.”  
As soon as she said it his stomach growled. Before, when he had been dieting, he never really noticed the hunger, but that half bowl of soup last night had shattered a wall somewhere in him, and now he felt like he could eat the entire bakery. “Sounds great to me.”  
She stood, then offered her hand to help him do the same, and he took it gratefully. As always, there was a spark of electricity that surged through his body when they touched. It was such a cliché, but this felt like more than romantic chemistry. It was no secret to either of them the purpose of their powers, that Chat Noir and Ladybug had been paired together to balance each other out, that neither of them could function without the other. He liked to believe that the spark he felt was their two orientations of powers nudging at each other, maybe even fighting for dominance, because every time he touched her he felt happy and confidant, and maybe that was some of her power leaking into him. That notion scared him though, since, if he was getting feedback from her powers, then she could be getting the same from him.  
How could she stand touching him? Ladybug represented light and good luck, but Chat’s powers channeled bad luck and destruction. Did touching him make her feel bad? That was probably why Ladybug was the one everyone looked up to, the one that purified the akumas. the one who actually mattered. Ladybug would do fine if he didn’t show up to a battle, but if he was fighting alone, he’d be fucked. His only purpose was to keep her alive so she could do the important work. No matter how much she denied it, Chat Noir was Ladybug’s sidekick.  
“Earth to Adrien,” she said, waving a spotted hand in front of his face, “Are you with me?”  
Adrien. She called him Adrian. Did that mean she wanted him to call her Marinette? Did that mean she considered Adrien and Chat Noir to be the same person? Did that mean that, since Ladybug didn’t have feelings for Chat Noir, Marinette would never have feelings for Adrien? And if Ladybug and Marinette were the same person then that must mean he has a crush on Marinette. He shut his eyes. This was too confusing.  
Then there was a click. A very familiar, very intimidating click. The click of Ayla’s favorite birthday present, courtesy of Adrien himself. Her new, very big, very fancy camera.  
Ladybug and Chat Noir’s heads snapped to look down at Ayla, who was waving at them and taking pictures, the rising sun catching her hair on fire. “Shit,” Ladybug muttered. Chat Noir almost laughed. He could never imagine Marinette cursing, but it seemed so natural from Ladybug’s lips. Then she dropped his hand, which she had still been holding. “Shit. I’m sorry, Adrien. I forgot Ayla was coming over this morning to work on a project.”  
“That’s fine,” he said, “I should probably get going anyways. Thank you for everything.” He made to run off, bit she grabbed his hand tightly.  
“You should stay.”  
“I don’t-“  
“You’re staying.” The force with which she said this knocked any argument from his lungs. They looked down to watch Ayla run inside the bakery. They slipped back inside Marinette’s room quickly and released their transformations. They could hear Ayla chatting with Marinette’s parents downstairs, but she sounded rushed. They didn’t have much time to do damage control. “Adrien,” Marinette whispered, “Go pretend to be asleep.”  
“Why?” he asked. It wasn’t like he could hide from Ayla all day.  
“If she doesn’t believe that you’re sick enough to not be able to go home, then she’ll get suspicious. Just trust me.” That didn’t sound very logical, but Ayla wasn’t the most logical person.  
Adrien crawled into Marinette’s bed, trying to ignore how soft it was and how much he loved its smell, like coffee and cotton candy and fresh morning mist. He drifted off. Again.


End file.
